Mother F'in Marbles

So i had a encounter with one of Kurt's many many ladies friends. And it seems that Kurt can even effect the most coy and quiet of people, making them vengeful and evil! I was punished for being his friends by an ONSLAUGHT that is MARBLES. Marbles is a beast from hell! He has deadly claws and a constant look of evil and hatred towards people. Some may call him cute and cuddly but NAY he uses that as a front to hide his love of feeling his claws rip through human flesh! I was bombarded with image after image of this beast until I broke down and started to sob...Kurt did little to stop this physiological abuse and I'm sure laughed about it on the car ride home! I did not sleep though the night, for I kept seeing MARBLES in my mind pouncing on my bed and lapping my soul away...F you MARBLES...F you!

The $75 Obligation

So Kurt LET me sell some of his stuff with my stuff and we made a agreement on $75 for his share of the stuff! But now he wont let it go...he reminds me everyday that I owe him the money! He sends emails, and written cards in the mail, even a singing telegram! I think he has spent more than $75 in letting me know I owe him $75! You would think the holiday season would bring "comfort and joy" but for Kurt it brings "discomfort and hate"!

Merry X-Mas you bastard!

Street Fighter

So when we were younger Kurt and I and another friend of ours named Aaron used to play STREET FIGHTER on the Super Nintendo Entertainment System. Kurt had a joystick controller and with it used to beat the living crap out of us with some of the worst characters in the game! He never let Aaron or I win EVER. This has shaped me for the worse into the therapy driven man I am today. Now every time I look at Kurt it is with hate and disdain because all I see when I look at him is Zangief, 360 pile driving me and then hearing the innocent scream of Chun-Li as she cries out in pain over our defeat!

Thanks Kurt!

Inside Man

So I lost a bet and had to hang out with Kurt a while ago. We were talking about movies we like and movies we have seen. He brought up the movie INSIDE MAN..you know the one with Denzel "crooked finger" Washington. But Kurt says the title all wrong. And he still does. He says it INSIDE, MAN! With a pause in the middle and a emphasis on the MAN part. I mean does he even know what the title means. Who does this Kurt guy think he is, changing the English language like he is some sort of GOD!


I really don't like this KURT

Ry

Here is the first Kurt quote of the new year!

"I woke up at about 8, made myself some pancakes and watched the Rose Parade."
-KURT

The hate grows with each new year!

Long Distance Movie!

This weekend I must have been under some kind of voodoo cause I said I would go to the movies with Kurt and our mutual friend Shannon. The real reason I went was because I didn't want Kurt to eat her soul. Anyhow Shannon and I live in the city of LA and Kurt lives way far away up in North Hollywood/Burbank. He MADE us drive all the way up there just to see this movie at a theater that was close to him! Since it was so far I had arrived at the movie late where Kurt then scolded me like a 5 year old child in from of the popcorn lady. He pushed me down where i spilled my 64 ounce cherry Pepsi and a single tear ran down my cheek. He began to laugh and told me to "suck it up"....the movie was just OK.

Kurt is "Bringing Sexy Back" on the PHONE!

Kurt called me yesterday to ask why I wasn't at work..the ENTIRE time he talked to me I a low sexy voice...he said it was because he was at work, but I know the real reason!